While managing addiction can feel like a completely isolating experience, it is still a disease that affects everyone. It affects the person with the addiction themselves, their family, friends, and coworkers. However, even as one successfully navigates sobriety, reclaiming one’s parental role in sobriety can be difficult.
There may still be barriers in the way of an individual regaining a sense of authority and respect from one’s children. One may even doubt their capabilities to lead as a parent because they have been under the weight of addiction for so long.
While taking on a parental role in sobriety comes with its unique hurdles and stresses, it is still possible to reclaim this role despite one’s history with addictive substances. Using one’s newfound sobriety as a catalyst to rebuild respect and trust is essential to the family unit.
Addiction affects many people, and, commonly, one’s family may struggle due to past use of addictive substances. While one may want to tout their newfound sobriety following an effective treatment program, it is important not to shy away from how addiction has affected the rest of the family and the work that is still needed to cope and rebuild.
Sometimes, one is asked to tackle criticisms of the past head-on, and being prepared for these dialogues is paramount to regaining a parental role in sobriety. Taking time to acknowledge and listen to how addiction has affected one’s children is not just important for allowing a child’s voice to be heard. Still, it can also help guide parents to continue adjusting their parenting strategies to cater to the specific needs of their children.
However, these conversations can be incredibly difficult, and many feelings of guilt, doubt, and shame may be present. Preparing oneself for these conversations can allow parents to be emotionally prepared to open these conversations with a healthy approach and mindset.
Likewise, healing from addiction takes time for all involved. While one may want to reclaim their parental role as soon as possible to rebuild one’s familial structure, patience and time are necessary. It can take a long time for trust to develop and for one’s authority and voice to be heard with the intended effects. Treating one’s role as a parent as an ongoing dialogue can aid the healing process as one’s familial dynamic continues to rebuild following recovery.
There may also be times when an individual will correct a child’s behavior only to be met with resistance. For those who have faced addiction, this can be a very trying time, as a child may not want to listen to or respect a parent’s corrections or discipline.
A child may even bring up stinging past criticisms of one’s behavior. While unfortunate, it is important to separate these two dialogues: the dialogue around correcting a child’s behavior and the dialogue surrounding one’s past. For most instances, both dialogues must happen, though not simultaneously.
Asking oneself if such resistance is due to a parental approach or a feeling of resentment is a difficult thing to process. However, refocusing dialogue off of one’s past actions and onto the problematic behavior at hand is paramount.
Tackling correcting a behavior first while also offering to discuss any pent-up feelings regarding one’s past use afterward or later in a safe space can help a parent retain authority at the moment while not silencing the feelings of one’s child.
One’s role as a parent can be expressed through examples as much as dialogues. Making a continued effort to improve oneself, maintain one’s sobriety, and further develop one’s sober identity and hobbies can be an important message of transformation. Not only can tending to one’s new hobbies continue to benefit one’s sustained sobriety, but it can also help a parent reclaim their parental role by example.
Inviting one’s children to engage in these new hobbies alongside oneself can further help redefine one’s identity and thus their relationship with their children. While trying to force oneself back into a parental role can be exceptionally difficult and is often a road met with resistance, it's important to approach this role with a degree of understanding.
Dialogue and a focus on one’s continued and sustained sobriety can help to rebuild trust in one’s relationships with their child one piece at a time. Together the family can reestablish a healthy outlook for the future as a family.
Some families require professional help. Professional environments such as group therapy allow families to communicate healthily and learn about addiction as a disease. Pathways Wellness Center provides such an environment where families can learn how to work together to face the challenges of everyday life.
At Pathways Wellness Center, we understand that balancing recovery with a role as a parent in your family is difficult. There can be a plethora of additional stressors tacked on to recovery goals while learning to address your continued sobriety journey and the familial dynamic and its effects. While balancing your recovery with reclaiming your role as a parent, we can help you create a personalized plan to help you meet your goals. With individual and group therapy, family programs, relapse prevention, and even parenting classes, we are prepared to help you transform your life. For more information on how we can help you, call us today at (888) 771-0966.
