Living with a family history of mental illness can be confusing, scary, and embarrassing. It can trigger so many other emotions depending on the mental illness, including its severity, whether it is being treated, and how well the treatment is controlling it. All of these factors affect your environment and development as you age, and then you have outside factors like stigmas that also affect you.
A 2017 study published in Brain Sciences about the stigma surrounding children of parents with mental illness (COPMI) describes this as a contamination stigma. This means that people judge COPMI as being corrupted by their parent's mental illness and therefore are looked down upon and judged unfairly.
As such a child, you may start to listen to the negative things and stereotypes people say and portray about you and believe them about yourself. You may start to believe that you are less than others or that just because your parent has a mental illness. This negativity is brought on by people who don't understand your situation and don't want the proper information, so instead, they assume and come up with false stereotypes.
One of the most important pieces of information you can remember is that your family member's mental illness is not your fault, and you are not responsible for their having it. You can't cure it or force them to get treatment or continue with it. However, you can support them to the best of your abilities and ensure you are maintaining your health and getting the help you need.
A study done by Elaine Mordoch that was published in the Journal of the Canadian Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry in 2010 showed that a majority of children were not given accurate, if any, information on the type of mental illness their parent had and what that meant. They understood that something was going on with their parent but didn't know if it was physical, if their parent was dying, or why their parent suddenly started acting differently.
The aforementioned study describes what Mordcoh calls "kaleidoscopic parental behavior." This is Mordoch's phrase describing how children see their parent's mental illness, which is a pattern of changing behaviors. Children saw their parent's behavioral changes as a decrease in their parents' ability to function. However, they didn't know what was causing this change or why all of a sudden, their parent had no interest in them or the things they used to.
According to Mordoch's study, the lack of information provided to these children increased their level of worry and negatively impacted their emotional state and environment. They did not know what was happening, so they didn't know what to do or how to react, and they couldn't properly accommodate their parent's change.
Ask questions. If you feel comfortable talking to your parent about their illness when they are in a good mental state, you should. Getting to understand what they are going through can help in your support of them and their treatment. It can also make it so that when your parents have a mental health episode, you will know what is going on, and hopefully, that will allow you not to have as many negative emotions present.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to a parent or are unsure how to bring it up to them, talk to another trusted adult, whether that's another family member, a teacher, or a counselor. They may be able to explain what it is themselves, what your parent's mental illness is, and what it means. At the very least, they may be able to direct you to resources that can help explain it.
You and your family will benefit from seeking guidance to help you understand a mental illness and its impacts. At Pathways Wellness Center, you'll work with a professional in a group setting to help your family understand the signs and symptoms of the illness and precursors that may be present before an episode. Continuing this approach to education and awareness will help you and your family communicate in healthier ways and face challenges together.
In addition, a professional therapist can give your family additional resources to use when you're not in therapy. Such resources will continue to help strengthen the bonds within your family to create resilience when dealing with challenging situations. When your family can move through challenges together, you set an example of hope for other families. Some helpful additional resources include:
Having a family history of mental illness presents a new array of challenges in your life. You may worry that people may view you differently, and because of this, you can start to view yourself negatively because of the stigmas placed on you for being associated with someone with a mental illness. At Pathways Wellness Center, we understand that your best tools are going to be to get as much information as you can so that you know what is happening, how to support your family member, and how to get the support and resources you need in order to cope with the circumstances. If you need help, don't wait; reach out today. To learn more, call (888) 771-0966 today.
